So for those of you who don't know me personally and struggle with my lack of gender identification in this blog (just noticed that...huh), I am a woman. A proud, freedom-loving, healthy, empowered, feminist woman. That being said, I also have a deep and enduring appreciation for men. Men are, generally speaking, pretty great. I believe the two genders compliment each other in many wonderful ways, and not just biologically speaking.
That being said, I have a pretty serious problem with men, wonderful as they are, telling me what I can and cannot do with my body. For that matter, I have a problem with other women doing it, too.
Lately, contraception and abortion rights have been inundating the news cycle and it's hard to avoid thinking about my own feelings on the matter. I tend to have liberal leanings on social issues, but as I get older I find myself less interested in the morality of a particular issue and more concerned by what the radical members of each side feel is appropriate to say and force on others.
This is a country where we value a few things above all others: freedom, liberty, and the right to do and make as you can with your own good work. As an American, I see my country(wo)men as people who are inclined to do what is right by not only themselves, but those around them. We take care of those who cannot, those who are less fortunate, and those who are in need. Some would say that these values stem from the religious principles of our founding fathers (and mothers), but I disagree. There were a healthy bunch of atheists amongst our founders, and they still managed to sign on to these moral and legally binding agreements. Why? Well, a question for the ages surely, but I believe it is because these are the higher standards that we hold ourselves to. We were born as a country by escaping tyranny, and we wanted to create a country that embodied the values we did not find in our old home. People make arguments about the place of religion in politics, but regardless of your position, we are a nation of many bounded by a few important values; above all, freedom.
Now, let's be clear. To me, freedom means I can do what I wish to the extent that I do not interfere with the rights of others to be free in doing what
they wish. I believe in this because I think that while freedom
to is important, I also think that freedom
from is equally essential. I want freedom to marry whomever I'd like, and I also want freedom from unjust persecution by others for that choice.
That being said, I have a few things to say about contraception, abortion, and marriage rights. I do not hold these opinions because I'm a left-wing nut job or a pinko commie or any other label one might apply; I hold them because I feel the represent the best of our American values and do not see any logical reason why they will hurt anyone.
On the issue of marriage - It is not my business who someone wants to marry. If you are attracted to people of the same sex, good for you. Marriage, while generally thought to be a religious institution, has also been made a matter of the state. After all, a heterosexual couple is granted a
marriage license by their state. I do not think it is appropriate to demand that religious institutions grant holy marriages to couples that do not share their religious beliefs, but the state has no right to discriminate against two people wishing to marry. I do not buy the arguments that same-sex couples make inferior parents, nor that they devalue the institution of marriage by any measure. That is a matter of opinion - not a fact. I think even a cursory glance at the record of heterosexual marriage in terms of "good parenting" and "valuing marriage" will provide substantial evidence that your sexual orientation has nothing to do with your values.
One could argue that if homosexual marriage should be permitted, then polygamous marriage should also be allowed. Currently, I don't feel that our system is set up to deal with that issue, and marriages could become very difficult to deal with logistically in regard to the legal rights associated with marriage. Also, I struggle to make sense of the religious ideals that surround most polygamous relationships; I find that polygamy tends to favor men and disenfranchise the rights of (especially young) women and children. However, that is a generalization and the whole issue should be addressed on a case-by-case basis.
On the issue of contraception - I am a woman who uses birth control for one simple reason: I do not feel I am ready to have a child or be a parent (separate things in my mind). My birth control use does not prevent me from enjoying monogamy when in a relationship, nor does it lead me to avoid abstinence when I am not in a relationship. Birth control has nothing to do with my personal values (it certainly does not make me a slut), nor does it affect the values of anyone besides my sexual partner. Instead, birth control allows me to make choices that are right for
me about my reproductive abilities. No one around me is able to tell if I do or do not choose to use contraception. In fact, if my employer provided me with contraception (and it does), no one else who works with me or "owns" the "business" would ever know if I'm taking advantage of that service or not! In short, my birth control use does not immediately affect anyone but me. And I think that's how it should be.
Or wait...maybe I'm wrong. Birth control use may not affect anyone immediately around me, but it certainly
DOES affect the general public. If I choose to wait until I have higher levels of education, am more financially secure, and have a long-term monogamous partner before having a child, society is far less likely to help me pay for it. There's no getting around the fact that having a kiddo is
expensive, and that there is already a saddening large number of children out there that have been deemed unwanted by their parents. In many cases, the decision to give up a child is largely based on the parent's (usually mother) inability to take care of a child financially or emotionally. While I have been fortunate enough to have an outstanding father, many children never meet theirs. The biological fact is: many fathers never stick around to meet their offspring, and women are left in the tough position of having to birth and take care of a child solo. Biologically, this simply isn't fair. Men, should they choose to, do not have to accept the responsibilities associated with having a child. Women do. Thus, allowing a woman to control when she becomes pregnant and providing
information, education, and accessibility of birth control not only creates reproductive equity between the genders, but also helps save society from the tremendous costs of unplanned pregnancies. Not to mention the tremendous costs of totally preventable sexually transmitted diseases...
On the issue of abortion - Women are, research shows, the best evaluators in determining whether they themselves are ready to become a mother. Shocking, I know. Abortion is a difficult decision for any woman to make, but regardless of why she makes it,
it is a decision that is hers to make. No one else (save maybe input from the father). Abortion should never be made more difficult than it already is. Abortion should never require a woman to undergo unnecessary medical procedures, be up for debate in front of a jury, or be too scary to endure. Abortion should be kept safe, legal, and rare, and is simply not the business of anyone but the couple considering it. If you have a problem with abortion, then instead of scaring women into alternative choices or making having an abortion so difficult that they seek other potentially unsafe paths, seek to empower women to never become pregnant in the first place. Where is the logic in making birth control very difficult or expensive to obtain, and then preventing women from seeking abortions when they have an unplanned pregnancy? Simply, our world will end up with many children that we are unprepared for. In a world where our resources are already over-allocated, we simply cannot afford to let the feelings of a few regulate the personal actions of many.
And on a personal note: it's my body! You don't get to tell me what to do with it! End of story!
And finally for your viewing amusement
